Dear you

You're never going to read this, and I don't think I should ever tell you, you'll only see it as an attack, but it is for your own good.

we've went out separate ways and moved on, but there are things that were left unsaid, you should know that your mentality about dating and friendships is a path you chose that comes with consequences.

Why do people cheat? sex, lust, attention? everyone has their own reason.

Honestly, if I was a different person, that only felt like they weren't a priority, but were told point blank that they weren't, I would've probably played the field and had someone on the side.

Personally, I'm very against cheating and I don't have the energy to double cross people, but thinking back, when we dated last year I felt the same way when I woke up after my drunk night and you weren't there, yet Moh came all the way to your place at 10am to pick me up, although he didn't sleep yet.

and how did that end? I left you and went for him, because he gave me much more attention and his friends liked me and I did feel like a priority, obviously it didn't last long, but at the moment I did feel like a princess, having someone cater to me, feed me with love in bed and drive me around while holding my hands. as apposed to having someone who clearly wanted to avoid me around his friends (we see a pattern here, don't we?)

This actually made me wonder if that's why your last two relationships ended in cheating, that you made it clear that they're number 2, 15% of your life or whichever way you decided to explain it. What they did was hurtful and wrong, but there's always two sides of a story, maybe that was their side. I'm not sympathising or taking sides, I'm just putting myself in their shoes, if my boyfriend didn't care that much, yet someone else was dying to satisfy me and be my number one, would I go for it?

Obviously I would, except in my case I just left you. You're not a horrible person, you're fine, but I don't think I should be friends with you in the future, if you weren't here for me when I needed you. Come to think of it, you only started talking to me last summer because your friends weren't around, I don't want that to happen again, be the back-up. Hence I don't think there's room for a weak friendship, I have other people that can support me in my daily life with my Hijab situation.

I still appreciate the times you listened, even when there were times when you seemed bored.

I'm not sure I can keep my promise of never calling you an ex, because my feelings for you really are changing, and I'm seeing you from a different light.


Sincerely,

Your ex.