Now, I can go back to my rambling. Yesterday was fine, I kept busy, went out with friends, ran errands. And today I woke up early and went to class. I thought it was a little sad and immature that she was with me in class and actively avoided our friends whenever I'm with them, she literally sat alone all day and would go with us on any of the lunch breaks, at first I felt bad and I wanted to to invite her, but when I saw the attitude and how she would only address my friends when I reach a distance from them, I've decided to let her have her own way and be alone, there was a lot of pride involved with her actions since we do have mutual friends, but that is her own choice. she wanted to have her alone time with Al, she got it. But my friends would not alternate days for her sake, and she will have to learn that the hard way, I actually felt relieved since now I don't have to worry about her and my time with Al and I know my friends would not cater to her needs, so now whatever I felt when I was with Al, I saw it being projected on her. I don't like being around such negativity and I don't know why someone would want to create such energy around her life, but again it's a choice. our friend asked me more than once why she wasn't talking to us, and I just kept it to myself. Knowing myself there's a chance I'll feel bad for her and try and talk to her next week, but I shouldn't initiate since I'm not the one with the issues. To be quite honest, I actually liked a few things about her, but it's shocking to know that a 26 year-old can be this childish.
Other than that, it was actually a good day. I've had a great ego boost as 2 people felt my arms in class, and one of the guys told me that my arms are very toned like Rachel from Friends, although her arms aren't as defined it was a huge compliment to hear that (it makes me sound douchey, but I'm not saying this to anyone but myself :p), and a few of the guys kept checking me out, normally I would be against these things, but it was nice knowing that I've accomplished a lot in almost 2 months (my gym and I's 2 month anniversary is next week) and that everyone was noticing. especially after the break u, it's good to feel empowered rather than defeated. and today I did feel strong.
I only saw him for about 10 seconds where I tried to avoid eye contact and then he said hello and I responded with a faint hello and a broken smile. I know I shouldn't been more casual, but I can't act like nothing happened between us. I think he glanced at me a few times in class, but my peripheral vision can fail me at times.
It wasn't really painful today, and I'm slowly getting rid of my withdrawal symptoms and being happy with my decision. He's a good boy, but he did do me wrong with his choices, and I know there will be a time where we'll talk again, if it's to get back together I have to be assertive and say no, because he's right, I shouldn't compromise when He didn't do the same, not even a little bit. I am a priority, that will always be the case, I won't tolerate otherwise. Also, he did say that I have come a long way (which always tears me up whenever I remember that sentence, because it true and very thoughtful of him to say) and letting someone control how I spend my time, is counter-productive to my blossoming.
And just like I got over my other ex's, This seems to be even easier.
It sucks that I had to miss out on what may be my only opportunity to a strap on, though. :)
Smile List:
1. Compliments.
2. Ab's granny's food.
3. Gay guy complimenting me at the gym.
4. Laughing with Al's friend Ry and not feeling awkward.
5. Hanging out with my friends at the mall.
6. Making conversation with a vegan [?] girl that was sitting alone.
7. VN-ing my old bestie Sal.
8. Checking myself out at the gym.
9. New necklace mom got me (i should talk to her soon)
10. preparing food for tomorrow, and packing my own lunch today.
11. the new shirt i bought, dirt cheap!
12. Running in the rain on my break and re-Hijabing from the lack of umbrellas as a joke.
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