10 days and counting

Haven't cried in 10 days, if that's not a sign of progress, I don't know what is. Or it could be the fact that I don't have a broken relationship to stress over, because that's what I cried about 90% of the time. I catch myself skipping and singing these days, it feels good.

I still fluctuate towards how I feel about what happened, some days I start resenting him for confirming my doubts, being the only one who compromised and putting up with it for that long. that's what my friend Hus asked me the other day:

"What made you stay in this situation all this time?"

If someone isn't making you their number one, if your happiness is not their priority, if they're making you cry, why are you still sticking around?

It upsets me whenever I think about that, because it makes me look as if I had such low self-respect to allow myself to feel that way, yet still be in a relationship. Something was bothering me and he didn't care enough to fix it and placed the blame on me for feeling this way, why did I stay?

10 days of smiles. I must be doing something right.

Catching up with friends, studying, going out, eating great.

Do not let a boy change your priorities.


Smile list:

1. Going to work in Gym clothes.
2. Making a very shy colleague smile and converse, he's a very nice guy.
3. Meeting someone attractive, even though I'm not interested, it was nice having him join us to the movies and sit next to me while explaining a movie I was not into and making it entertaining
4. Finishing Female Chauvinistic pigs and starting the Hunger games last night.
5. Sitting on the floor at this moment with a pillow underneath me while I bend over the laptop to have the heater warm my butt. :p
6. Humming the mexican chicken dance then laughing at myself for remembering the one that I blew my ex Moh while humming in the shower it 'cause I was high.
7. Calling up my roommate last night, I miss her energy, although her recklessness stresses me out.
8. Stupid snapchats that the group is sending these days, Dal is hilarious.
9. Sa being a sweetheart and helping around the house, he got his toolkit and fixed my doorknob and got my groceries.