when i think about it, i'm fine as soon as he left, and right now i am fine. maybe it's because i don't like spending too much time with him, maybe i get annoyed by the criticism when it's in a big dose. i already know my flaws, i don't need to be reminded of them every second of everyday. he has so many flaws, so many stupid things that he should stop doing, but do i say anything? no. i don't like where our argument led to. i don't like what i heard when he was drunk, i don't like that he has to be "careful" around me. that's not fine, i've been in honest relationships before, and i never felt judged, but he does it in a way that's just... judgemental. there's a difference between constructive criticism and when you feel like you're just an annoying person. i'm not sure this relationship is going to last after today, i'm not sure if i want it to last, because i realised in the past 2 weeks, this isn't going anywhere, he's going to deny it if i confront him, which frankly i don't have the energy to do, but from the way that he talks about me, we're never getting married. so, i'm not sure what the point is in being attached to someone i'm definitely leaving. i'm not saying that i'm ready for marriage, but when it's not even an option, why are we doing this? maybe that's what's sparking up my anger when i'm drunk, or that everyone is leaving but me.
too drained out to really care.
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