I'm finding my dreams to be more of a reality than my day to day life. I'm not sure if that makes sense, or if it's psychotic, but I keep wanting to go back to sleep to know what's going in my subconscious.
So far I've gotten into an argument with my best friend, started throwing my lectures and breaking stuff, only because she wouldn't explain something to me properly and was messing around when I was in a bad mode - which is totally something I would do.
I pretended to faint infront of my family members and face planted to make it more believable while believing it myself in a way, but nobody cared and I had to get up and go hide somewhere to cry.
My ex showed up at my birthday party infront of everyone with a lawyer sueing me.
He also showed up and parked at my house while another girl did to whom they were dating and she left some kids in her car while getting into his car, I made sure my parents found out to take care of the kids but they wouldn't care less what the girl was doing which angered me because I wanted them both punished, and I confronted them saying she's been inlove with him ever since she first laid eyes on him, and apparently he noticed her at his psychiatrists appointment which made them get into the relationship and that hurt my feels, she later on messaged me thanking me for introducing him to her but the message was all jumbeled.
I also was driving around my country and getting lost - like i usually do in the summer and it always gets me anxious - and then some kids helped me out, i ended up driving to Kaws place where I got into an accident for swerved too soon - something i'm always afraid of - and my breaks were crap, the guy came out and he's this chubby dude that's married and said he was in my school, I was yelling at my mom on the phone cause she kept interrupting me when i wanted to tell her about the accident.
And i was also trying to figure out how to meet my family at the airport, with or without hijab.
what's the result of all these random dreams? Missed a day of work, missed my psychiatrist appointment and I'm still in bed, being anxious and angry about some fucking dreams that aren't even real.
Maybe I am being psychotic.
No comments:
Post a Comment